not just a superhero

I love superhero stories. I love thinking mythically and finding inspiration from everywhere! When I look at my son, he reminds me of the days when I believed I was Superman or He-Man!

As a boy, I thought every stick was a sword meant to slay a dragon. I remember jumping off ledges, hard cement breaking my fall, wearing a mask, towel around my neck like a cape, yelling hysterically, and running my cape into low flying branches choking myself silly. I learned capes can kill you!

I fed off superheroes stories as a child. As a man, I have found adventures await those with childlike faith! Can anyone relate?

Superheroes are blessed and cursed with greatness. In a way so are we. As Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben put it, “With great power comes great responsibility.” What a huge amount of stress is placed on superheroes to save the world! Yet what great purpose!

As much as I love comic books, video games, and the Marvel movies, there is only one real superhero I know of in real life who has already done that! 🙂

Jesus - superheroes

I recently had a fun eye-opening conversation with my wife about her literary “superhero.” His name is Mr. Darcy.

According to my wife, Mr. Darcy represents the perfect man – high class, rich, stoic, rugged, honest, strong, yet vulnerable, teachable, and tender-hearted.

My wife can’t say his name without smiling! What is up with that?!

Here are a few facts on Mr. Darcy compliments of my wife:

  1. a character from Jane Austin’s novel Pride and Prejudice published in 1813
  2. there are nearly countless movie adaptations of this novel and character
  3. the love interest Elizabeth turns his head and he eventually falls madly in love her

In my not-so-humble opinion, Mr. Darcy simply represents a man who changes his mind a lot. My guess is that some women like that in a man? This didn’t blow over well with my wife. 😛


Believe it or not, tho I write a blog on marriage, I would not consider myself a romantic. Definitely not a hopeless one.

  • I’m not a perfect man nor do I strive for it. I don’t need the stress of perfection.
  • It’s not worth it to compare myself to anyone or pretend to be a fictional character.
  • I’ve learned perfection is a lie from the enemy and a painful pose of an uninitiated man.
  • To strive to be a superhero, especially in marriage, is like comparing myself to a moving target and then wondering why I am coming up short.
  • A real man will risk being authentic, transparent, and teachable before his wife.

I am not a superhero, I am much more. Me? I just want to be myself. I want something real. Don’t you?

Mr. Darcy is a flawed character who faces his fears, learns from his mistakes, and is capable of real change. That resonates with me.

A strong husband is called to love one person, not save the world. It’s really not as complicated as we make it out to be. Love well and learn to be loved.

Strong character development stems out of personal development. Another word for this is innovation. A strong man knows how to change. Transform. Grow.

Like anyone else really, I want to leave a lasting legacy for my future generations, but I am not striving to “save the world” or be that fictional superhero. I’ll let Jesus be that.  I simply want to enjoy all that God wants for my life and marriage.

When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:4

I have learned something recently. Wouldn’t it be crazy if my kids thought my marriage was supernatural! For those willing to risk it all, a good marriage is no fairytale, nor an accident. 

A loving wife can turn his head and heart. A strong man offers his strengths to her. Together they let the world feel the weight of their marriage.

What about you? What does your heart say?


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